Kusungira kapu yakaputsika kana kuti kuvaka sei ukama nemurume wake

Mumhuri imwe neimwe pane zvinetso zvekutaurirana. Iyi ndiyo nzira yakakwana. Pane kudaro, vanoita kuti hukama hwepedyo hwakanaka huve hwakakanganiswa. Mushure mezvose, hapana vanhu vakakwana, izvo zvinoreva kuti mhuri yakadai idyll, chaizvoizvo, inogona kuve yakanyatsogadzirwa semafuta. Ndivo vatevedzeri vevatambi mushure mokunge basa racho risina kuputsa mwoyo uye matambudziko epfungwa. Kana muhupenyu hwako nehupenyu hwako hwaidiwa kune kukakavadzana, usaora mwoyo. Zviri nani kuti unyatsorongedza mamiriro acho ezvinhu uye uzvinyatsozvipindura pachako kumubvunzo: sei kugadzirisa ukama nemurume wake uye kana zvichifanira kuitwa zvachose?

Nguva yekudanana uye rudo, mwedzi yokutanga inofara yakagara pamwe chete, uye dzimwe nguva kunyange makore, kubudirira kubuvanzira kubva kwatiri kukanganisa kwemudiwa. Izvi zvinoreva kuti isu tinoona kuti murume ane uwandu kana kuti anofarira kutengesa nguva pfupi nekambani yevasingazikanwi vanoziva, asi kusungirwa kwepfungwa dzisinganzwisisiki kamwe kunonyomba: iye murume chaiye, kana iye mweya wekambani. Nokufamba kwenguva, "hutsika" idzi dzinova kusakwana kusingaoneki, dzinowedzera kuoneka, dzinotanga kukonzera kutsamwa, ichocho chiratidzo chokutanga chematambudziko emhuri. Kana zvikanganiso zvemukaro wako zvisinganzwisisiki kwauri, chimbofunga: zvichida zvakakosha kutora nguva uye kuongorora mamiriro ezvinhu akambomuka.

Asi kana ukama hwakashata nemurume wake huchikonzerwa, pane kudaro, nekushungurudzika kwepamba, kunyanya kuneta kana kushayikwa kwekubatana, ipapo kuchengetedzwa kwavo kunobva kune vose vakaroorana. Mune mamiriro ezvinhu, mazvikokota ezvepfungwa vanopa mazano ekupa mumwe nemumwe kutarisirwa kwakanyanya uye nguva sezvinobvira. Uye, zvinogona kunge zvisiri kungofamba chete kana kuenda kuresitorendi kana pane yemitambo. Kupi nekurumbidza kunofadza, kunyemwerera zvinyoro kana kubata kune danho rokutanga kuti mutaurirane.

Kuti anzwisise nzira yekugadzirisa ukama nemurume wake, kuongorora kwepfungwa kunotevera kunobatsira . Kuparadzanisa pepa muzvikamu zviviri, mumutsetse we-1-st unofanirwa kupinda maitiro emudiwa wako waunoyemura, uye muchipiri - avo vanoda kuchinja. Rega mudiwa wako aite zvakafanana. Kana "chikamu chakanaka" chiine mamwe mapepa, saka hapasina matambudziko akawanda - kungori imwe dambudziko duku iro iwe unogona kukurira. Kushivirira, mafungiro akanaka uye maitiro matsva zvichabatsira munyaya yakashata. Asi kana chikamu che "negative" chiri kutungamira - ichi chiratidzo chekuri, zvichiratidza kuti mhuri yako ine matambudziko akakomba.

Nzira yekugadzirisa ukama nemurume wake mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma zvakadaro? Iwe unogona kuedza kutaura nemunhu wepfungwa, asi yeuka iwe newawakaroorana naye munogona kugadzirisa matambudziko avo emhuri-mhuri chete. Chokutanga pane zvose, dzidza kutaura mutauro mumwe chete. Funga nezvenzira ipi yekuzvibata yaunosarudza kuita hurukuro yakawanda newaunoda. Zvichida, iwewo kazhinji unoshandisa mufananidzo wemubereki kana mwana, uye mumwe wako anoedza kukutaurira pane imwe nzvimbo yakasiyana. Asi nokuda kwekukurukurirana kunobudirira , zvishoma chete "izwi" rimwe chete uye mamwe maonero akafanana anodiwa. Kunyanya pane izvi unogona kudzidza kubva kumabasa eAmerican psychotherapist Eric Bern.

Chechipiri, unoda kugovana nemumwe wako pfungwa dzako pamusoro pezvausingadi. Asi iwe unofanirwa kuratidza zvirevo zvako zvakarurama, pasina manzwiro asina kunaka asina kufanira. Mushure mezvose, chinangwa chako ndechokuti uone kuti ungaita sei ukama nemurume wako, uye usingaiti chimwe chinoparadza. Nokudaro, edza kutora mhinduro uchidzikama, uchiedza kutarisa kukakavadzana "kubva kunze" uye kunyatsoona kukanganisa mukero yako.

Usati wapindura mubvunzo uyu: sei kuchengeta ukama nemurume wake, funga-sei iwe uchida chaizvo. Zvisarudzo: nekuda kwevana, kuitira kuti varege kugara vari voga, kwete kuparadza mhuri, kuva chimiro chakanaka chevanhu - havatenderwi. Pane mhinduro imwe chete yakarurama, uye inonzwika seyiyi: Ndinoda uye ndinoremekedza mumwe wangu, isu takagadzirira kukunda matambudziko ose pamwe chete, nokuti kufanana kwedu kwakakosha.